How To Stop A JawFlapper

My Roman Catholic friend jokes that:

“…when church is over—people burn rubber getting out of the parking lot.”

Lutherans would do this too if we didn’t talk so slowly. By the time we’ve mulled what we

I like mice like the ones at: All Saints Allesley. Each pew is carved by Robert Thompson of Kilburn North Yorkshire and has a little mouse carved on it somewhere.

truly wanted to say through 15 filters—so it’s not offensive, flamboyant, or overly pigheaded—it’s lunchtime and we’re ready to get in our cars and forget about it until the next time we meet.

Except for me….

My family says it takes a good 20 minutes for me to get from the pew to the car because I talk to everybody—even the church mice. Well…I’ve got stories to collect and another book to write…but if you truly want to escape…then….

How To End a Conversation

For the love of silence, Kris. Give it a rest.!

Here are some tips for ending a conversation with me or someone like me who’s flapping their jaws.

 STRATEGY 1: Make a positive ending comment.  This is the UNIVERSAL signal for wrapping up.

  • DOs:    “I’m glad we talked.”
  •             “You’ve given me some things to think about.”
  •             “I enjoyed our conversation.”
  • DON’Ts: “Kris…isn’t that your husband…driving out of the parking lot?

 STRATEGY 2: Review and Plan.  Again, this is another signal indicating you’ve heard the person and the conversation has come to a close.

  • DO:    “Thanks for letting me know the details. (The review of the conversation).  “I’ll get back to you and let you know.” (The plan.)
  • DON’T:  “Kris!!! My eyes are rolling in the sockets with all these details. (The Review). Just e-mail me (so I can delete it as soon as I get it.)” (The Plan)

STRATEGY 3:  The Excuse AND Reason.

You’re allegedly ending the conversation NOT because the other person is making your brain  go to sleep and you want to run away, pulling at your ears and screaming, but because you have something else that MUST be done.

The excuse and reason must be used together...as you see in this bad example.

  • POOR EXAMPLE:  ”Hi…can’t talk. Gotta go.”

This response doesn’t work as my kiddos will attest. Without an excuse, it makes the other person feel unimportant. (And adding a wave, while walking away doesn’t make it any better…are you kids listening?)

  • BETTER EXAMPLE: “Sorry, Kris. Gotta go. I’m late for a meeting.”

HINT:  If you’re using the Excuse Strategy, at least make your reasons believable.

  • “I’ve got to wash the chickens.”
  •  “Clean out the fridge before the milk expires.”  or
  • “I’m late for a meeting that we didn’t invite you to.”

Are not acceptable excuses. Put on your thinking cap or another mouth filter.

So…there you have it!!

BONUS TIP:

Of course, the best time to escape is when there’s a lull in the conversation; but if you’re visiting with someone like me, who can talk as I breathe both in and out, you’ll have to interrupt. I know …I know….you hate to do it.  But believe me, it’s quite helpful. I appreciate it every time I’m interrupted with:

“Sorry, Barb. I’ve got to let you go.  Your husband is driving out of the parking lot.” Smiley

PhotoCredits
amadabslater, :Mollypop, Thirdculturejb

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12 thoughts on “How To Stop A JawFlapper

  1. Our little church group does not have enough conversation time at church so we go out together afterwards to relax and chat away. And you can hear almost anything and everything from this group!! Could lead to another book! Join us again sometime

  2. My father said that I had a tongue that was hinged in the middle and wagged at both ends. I suspect he may have described you in this fashion as well.
    Sometimes it is the outlandish excuses which tickle me most and allow and escape …’Sorry, I have to go, the milk needs washing and the cat is performing surgery, AND I need to write my acceptance speech for the Nobel Peace Prize.’ ‘Ok, that sounds as if you are really busy.’

    • Your dad had some great sayings. My problem is that I can’t think of good excuses beside…”I really want to leave.”
      And then there are those people who ask: What do you have to do this afternoon? When? I’ll try the Nobel Peace Prize one , though.

  3. We have coffee hour after service, so while a few people do leave immediately, The Squire and I are not among them. I can talk a blue streak without any help, but I’m the editor of the church newspaper, so folks are always coming up and asking/telling me something, which I generally forget before I’ve had my second brownie. It’s not at all unusual for somebody to come tell me “your husband is in the car, reading the paper”. Oops! Gotta run!

  4. I confess I’d generally be the guilty party–talk talk talk. During long-distance phone visits, my cousin frequently has to say, “Breathe!!” God bless you–love, Caddo

    • Fortunately (or unfortunately) long distance has gotten cheaper and so we get to talk longer. Remember when we used to talk as fast as possible in order to get as much in as possible in three minutes. Ooooh this brings back memories.

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