A Season to Break Mirrors

For every time, there’s a season. This is the season  I’d like to break my mirror. Fall brings out my tiny shopping gene, but it never ends well.

I peruse the mail-order catalogs and dog-ear pages before I go shopping. I don’t want to

Barbie has a designer and tailor….that’s why she looks so good.*

waste too much time in those stores which are like buffets of textile disappointment. I’ve done my homework and know what I want before I walk into Macy’s. I’m like a Barbie doll all hopped up on choices and the hope of finding a pair of pants that fit.Smiley

But after trying on the carefully vetted threads, I walk from the dressing room, twisting right and left, trying to see myself from all angles in the mirror. I’m more baffled than an English Lit major trying to do Chinese algebra.

It’s taken years, but I’ve finally deduced the reason for my bewilderment.

The clothing promises every possibility of looking like this when it’s hanging on the hanger……

I’m not sure why those ridiculous department store mirrors reveal…..

I think it’s the lighting…or maybe I need another foot and a half of leg

….or an unbreakable mirror?

I hate shopping.Smiley How about you??

(*Barbie’s Clothes by Hegmony77, Thin model: Heidi Marie by Will Foster)

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14 thoughts on “A Season to Break Mirrors

  1. Giggle. I am always on the quest for a pair of jeans that fit. For me the problem is always length! They are all to short! I love the new stretch in denim, love it. My menopause middle couldn’t be happier. Now if only my ankles weren’t cold. xo

    • Katherine!!! Me, too. If I find a pair that com to a half inch off the floor, then they’re baggier than a bread sack on the rest of me. Maybe those extenders in the 60s (different colored material sewed to the bottom) will come back in fashion style??

  2. I have almost total sales resistance – except in book stores or in those selling gardening products.
    And the mirrors in change rooms belong in circuses – you know, the old fashioned kind that spruiked ‘the fattest woman in the universe’ and her ‘black moustache’. I need a good lie down and several drinks after a clothes shopping session. And I can afford the drinks because I can’t afford anything I liked which fitted.

    • Say…maybe you’re on to something. Do you think if I had the drinks before shopping, then those mirrors would reflect better? Perhaps, the more drinks, the thinner I’d look? I already know a beer makes me wittier and more beautiful.

  3. I stopped shopping ages ago–I use the excuse that I can’t afford to, which is true. Seriously, I’m counting on dying before I’m threadbare. Being a recluse has definite advantages! God bless you–love, sis Caddo

    • Caddy V, my sister, you know how plans don’t seem to work out as we expect. so what’ll you do if you’re blessed with longevity? You’ll be running around in your birthday clothes. You need to get some crazy duds, because old age is the perfect time to wear whatever we want (housecoats, mumus, or British equestrian pants). The older we are, the quirkier we can be. Take advantage of it.
      The Lord’s Blessings right back at you.

  4. Not only do I not enjoy shopping, I hate mirrors. One step further, I think we should do away with all reflective surfaces so we will not have to face the truth. Who’s with me???!!

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