Dishwasher Wars

Unwashed dishes in a sink; an authentic situation.

Load according to whose side you’re on

If you volunteered for clean-up at the church Fall Festival, then you
need to choose a side in the dishwasher wars about:

 WHAT NOT TO PUT IN THE DISHWASHER

It’s the church women who ignore the list of No-Nos on the
wall over the machine. Years of dipping their hands in hot water and grease-eating
sulfates have hardened their kitchen-warrior attitudes.

 Vera says:  “If a dish won’t stand up to a good scalding, then it hasn’t earned a spot at a potluck dinner.”

 That’s not meant to be harsh. It was actually the men who put up the list. They frequently try to explain how the washer works….

WALT: “Now, look here. Most dishes can’t stand the heat.  This machine gets so hot, you could wrap salmon filets in foil, run ‘em through a couple of cycles, and they’d be cooked. Completely cooked!”

 VERA: “Oh good grief. That sounds like something you’d do.
You must have stock in the detergent company if you want us to hand wash
everything.”

 The men’s list of “Taboo Items” include:

  • Wooden Stuff
  • Plastic stuff
  • Fancy stuff/Crystal/chinaware

 There’s more, but The Ladies have
crossed them off the list (even though they ignore the list).

  •  *Cast iron skillets
  • *Insulated travel mugs
  • *Teflon

 VERA: “What kind of an idiot would put a cast iron skillet in a dishwasher? It’d turn it into a rusty doorstop. Not even you would do that, Walt.”

 WALT: “Nope. I never wash any of my cookware.”

 VERA: “I have no doubt.”

 So the kitchen debate continues with each event. It makes for interesting clean up.

 In the spirit of controversy some joker has added a few “Allowed” items on the list.

OKAY TO WASH ON TOP
RACK

  • *Toothbrushes
  • *Baseball hats

 The Ladies haven’t marked off these items. Vera says…
“JUST PUT ANYTHING BUT A PRICELESS ANTIQUE IN THE DISHWASHER AND FORGET ABOUT IT.”

 After all, the dishwasher was invented by a woman who got tired of the servants chipping her fine china.

A hand crank dishwasher.

 Josephine Cochrane is said to

An electric dishwasher. Both were in use in 1917

have exclaimed, “If nobody else is going to invent a dishwashing machine,
I’ll do it myself!”

 In 1886 she created a
motorized washer. Her company is now part of Kitchen Aid.

 I don’t know if Ms. Cochrane was Lutheran, but I bet if she were here…

she’d ignore “The Not Allowed List” too.

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Dinner for the Exhausted

You know how I love change, (cough, cough).  Well, I’m sure the Kitchenettes, those brave ladies who clean the church kitchen, are gonna love the Exhaust Burger Dinner. As a matter of fact, it’ll change every busy man or woman’s life.

No more rushing home from

I hope I have time to stop and get some potato salad

  • Work
  • Committee Meetings
  • Choir
  • Gym

to cook dinner. A home-cooked meal is just a drive around the block, a few times with the …..

Exhaust Burger

Add the burger in the handy-dandy pocket. It’s not cooked by the fumes, but by the heat generated by those fumes as you drive your car.

Sorry, only one burger at a time, but if traffic is bad…you can hop out while I-5 looks like a parking lot and change those patties. (Hint: Keep a foil pouch in the back seat and toss the cooked burgers in.)

Featured in Design Boom in 2008, I’m just not sure why it doesn’t come standard with a new car purchase. Smiley  How do you get dinner on the table on a busy night?

To Paper or To Plate: That’s the Question

We were packing boxes to send to missionaries and behind us, at another table, was a Vera-type-gal, a micro-manager of the Universe.  She was organizing the Ladies’ for an upcoming reception, “And of course, we must use the nice plates, and the good glasses.  Nancy Sue will you iron the tablecloths and napkins?”

Heavens to mergatroid. Poor Nancy Sue  I thought.  I haven’t used my iron in…well, let’s just say I think it still works. Last time I used it was to create melted crayon crafts. I leaned over to my packing partner and whispered, “That’s a lot of frou-frou.”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’s why I never volunteer for those things.”

Now obviously, I was born without a Martha Stewart gene, but it got me thinking, with all the coffee hours, receptions, mid-week suppers, etc., we’d get more volunteers if we’d use disposables. So what’s the better choice? Hence…

THE CERAMIC VS PAPER WAR

Being frugal Lutherans, most of our matched plates and flatware came from saving boxtops. (Everyone keep eating…we need 10 more sets of service.)

Ceramic/Glass Benefit

  • Their production and delivery have a carbon foot print, but it’s a one-time thing.
  • They have to be washed. (Blah…like we all don’t have enough washing in our lives). But according to GreenGoPost.com dishwashers have become more energy and water efficient. (Obviously they’ve never watched the youth wash dishes).  Of course they caution if you run the dishwasher with only a cup and a spoon inside, it’s not too cost-effective, but the nature of most Lutherans is to fill that machine up until it looks like a steam-punk contraption. We know how to get the most soap out of a buck.
  • The threat of bacteria spreading is most likely not an issue unless we’re experiencing a horrible disease like cholera or maybe contamination by zombies.  Basic hygiene still applies.

Paper Plate Benefit

  • Disposable. No clean up. Hooray. But…here comes the rain on my dancing-dish parade…we’ll be buying them again and again. More production, transportation and bigger carbon footprint.
  • So, we’ll just recycle, yes?  No, not really. Usually soiled plates can’t be recycled and not all grades of plastic can be recycled. “Even if your community could recycle each and every disposable fork or cup,” says Leon Kaye of GreenGoPost, “they still require energy–and water–to create new batches of paper or plastic goods.”  And then there’s the bags of garbage after an event, percolating gas and goop like the eggs in an Alien movie.

So my lazy bones stand corrected. Ceramic and metal flatware is the winner.

It’s wise stewardship for money, attitude, and planet. “Think single purchase, not single use,” says Kaye.

Okay…I may volunteer for clean-up, but I’m still not ironing.

How has your church or organization solved the problem?

Thanks to Leon Kaye, editor and founder of GreenGoPost.com. Check it out for more info.

Feeding Less Than 5,000

OOOOOOGA!!! OOOOOGA!! Sound the alarm.

Theodore Gustersham just passed away, his service will be in three days. At least a hundred people are expected for this long-time member.

Okay, you may not be feeding 5,000, buit who ya gonna call….well…it’s usually the Lutheran Ladies. To help with this problem, the bedazzling, always snazzy Kitchenettes (can you hear them grumbling in background?) have visited other Lutheran Cookbooks for EAZY-PEAZY recipes to whip together quick. quick deliciousness. (Unless you simply buy everything which is quicker, but not cheaper.)

Lemon bundt cake.

Lemon bundt cake. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today we feature

Quick Quick Lemon Cake
Immanuel Lutheran in Missouri


1 box lemon cake mix
2 pkgs lemon pudding mix
1 1/2 C. milk

1 tub whipped cream

Prepare according to package directions for 2 round layers (8 or 9 inch). Bake and cool    in pans for 10 minutes. Remove to wire racks;
Use a whisk to mix pudding mixes and milk. Spread over the top of each cake.
Place layers on top of each other and frost with whipped topping.
Speedy Tip: Cook in a 9×13” pan. Spread mixed pudding, then whipped topping.

If you have a recipe or subject you’d like to parade by the blog, use the contact form above and wing it this way.